Dinner at The Crypt
Now
this was a very interesting dinner organized by Robert Wilson, the owner of The
Bleeding Heart restaurant, one of
London’s top Frog eateries. As an aside
Robert and /or The Bleeding Heart also has a 50% cross shareholding in Trinity
Wines
in the Hawkes Bay which means cheap NZ plonk at the restaurant.
Anyway,
Robert organized this theme night to be held in the Crypt of St Etheldreda’s
church in Ely Place, Clerkenwell, a stones throw from the Bleeding Heart.
The
sense of history lies heavy in The Crypt as it’s foundations date back to the 6th
century and the Crypt itself to the 12th
century.
The
big draw card is that on May 31st 1531 Henry V111 and his first wife
Catherine of Aragon hosted a grand celebration in the Crypt that apparently
lasted five full days and nights. They feasted on swans stuffed with larks
stuffed with sparrows (show offs!)
The
irony here is that at this time good old Henry was moving heaven and earth to
give Catherine the flick and on that basis they dined in separate areas for the
full five days.
As
for the evening it was just great. The atmosphere was electric. The food was
sensational and the wines, well the fast-talking and slightly sozzled Andrea
Sottimano of the vineyard of the same name, flogged his various reds as if his
life depended on it. It was actually quite entertaining watching this chap
butcher the English language in yet another attempt to describe the heaven like
qualities of his pretty average tasting products.
We
didn’t care as we were there for the experience and the theatre of the whole
deal.
As
for our fellow guests seated at our table.
Well, there were a couple of hard working young Americans who went to great lengths
informing us about the ins and outs of a car rental franchise they managed at
Heathrow. I know, I know, it’s hard to treat Americans seriously and these guys
were no
exception. The
couple directly opposite were retired. The guy looked like that English
comedian Les Dawson, and having announced that he was strictly a beer drinker,
then proceeded to hammer himself legless with heavy reds. His wife was one of
those “horsey” types who once started , couldn’t stop talking about her horses,
horses races, and anyone of note related to the
horse flesh industry. Julia
kept on telling me to stop egging her on, to no avail. Once this woman had
downed a few she fairly
took off like a rocket and no one but no one was going
to stop her. I loved that woman she was really a class act.
The
final couple was one Robert Lewis, a central London Barrister in his final week
of a generally unfulfilling career before retirement, accompanied by his long
suffering and very pleasant wife.
I
really took to Robert. The guy came out of the blocks firing on all cylinders.
He had a really interesting take on everything from food and wine to the
current state of the English legal system.
We
are halfway through dinner and Robert is in full flight when suddenly he turns
to me and says “Do you have any friends “ to which I reply “Yes, and pray why
do you ask?”. So Robert then tells me that he doesn’t have any friends, never
has, and the
closest thing he probably has to his friend is his weekend cross-country
walking buddy, his wife. I didn’t quite know what
direction the conversation
was heading in, so to avoid the possibility of having the guy front up at our
front door the following Saturday decked out in anorak, shorts and tramping
boots, I immediately informed the wannabe friend that a) I hated tramping
and b) suggested that he
insure his wife doesn’t pop her clogs anytime soon.
All
in all, a great evening.
Oh,
before I forget, on the way out the door Robert, the guy from The Bleeding
Heart took Julia and I to one side to introduce us
to his wife , a fellow Kiwi
who hailed from Rotorua. As we walked away from the Crypt we both agreed that
what with her
strange wig and full length fire red coat, Robert’s wife looked
exactly like a human version of that flower the Red Hot Poker.
Geeze,
this is an interesting city.
Cheers
John.
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