Tuesday 20 March 2012

The Crypt


Dinner at The Crypt
Now this was a very interesting dinner organized by Robert Wilson, the owner of The Bleeding Heart restaurant, one of
 London’s top Frog eateries. As an aside Robert and /or The Bleeding Heart also has a 50% cross shareholding in Trinity Wines 
in the Hawkes Bay which means cheap NZ plonk at the restaurant.
Anyway, Robert organized this theme night to be held in the Crypt of St Etheldreda’s church in Ely Place, Clerkenwell, a stones throw from the Bleeding Heart.
The sense of history lies heavy in The Crypt as it’s foundations date back to the 6th century and the Crypt itself to the 12th 
century.
The big draw card is that on May 31st 1531 Henry V111 and his first wife Catherine of Aragon hosted a grand celebration in the Crypt that apparently lasted five full days and nights. They feasted on swans stuffed with larks stuffed with sparrows (show offs!)
The irony here is that at this time good old Henry was moving heaven and earth to give Catherine the flick and on that basis they dined in separate areas for the full five days.
As for the evening it was just great. The atmosphere was electric. The food was sensational and the wines, well the fast-talking and slightly sozzled Andrea Sottimano of the vineyard of the same name, flogged his various reds as if his life depended on it. It was actually quite entertaining watching this chap butcher the English language in yet another attempt to describe the heaven like qualities of his pretty average tasting products.
We didn’t care as we were there for the experience and the theatre of the whole deal.
As for our fellow guests seated at our table.
Well, there were a couple of hard working young Americans who went to great lengths informing us about the ins and outs of a car rental franchise they managed at Heathrow. I know, I know, it’s hard to treat Americans seriously and these guys were no
exception. The couple directly opposite were retired. The guy looked like that English comedian Les Dawson, and having announced that he was strictly a beer drinker, then proceeded to hammer himself legless with heavy reds. His wife was one of
those “horsey” types who once started , couldn’t stop talking about her horses, horses races, and anyone of note related to the
horse flesh industry. Julia kept on telling me to stop egging her on, to no avail. Once this woman had downed a few she fairly
took off like a rocket and no one but no one was going to stop her. I loved that woman she was really a class act.
The final couple was one Robert Lewis, a central London Barrister in his final week of a generally unfulfilling career before retirement, accompanied by his long suffering and very pleasant wife.
I really took to Robert. The guy came out of the blocks firing on all cylinders. He had a really interesting take on everything from food and wine to the current state of the English legal system.
We are halfway through dinner and Robert is in full flight when suddenly he turns to me and says “Do you have any friends “ to which I reply “Yes, and pray why do you ask?”. So Robert then tells me that he doesn’t have any friends, never has, and the
closest thing he probably has to his friend is his weekend cross-country walking buddy, his wife. I didn’t quite know what 
direction the conversation was heading in, so to avoid the possibility of having the guy front up at our front door the following Saturday decked out in anorak, shorts and tramping boots, I immediately informed the wannabe friend that  a) I hated tramping
 and b) suggested that he insure his wife doesn’t pop her clogs anytime soon.
All in all, a great evening.
Oh, before I forget, on the way out the door Robert, the guy from The Bleeding Heart took Julia and I to one side to introduce us
to his wife , a fellow Kiwi who hailed from Rotorua. As we walked away from the Crypt we both agreed that what with her 
strange wig and full length fire red coat, Robert’s wife looked exactly like a human version of that flower the Red Hot Poker.
Geeze, this is an interesting city.
Cheers John.  

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