The things one does to stay alive

Guys, If you have read our blog recently you will have noted that I recently visited the local GP to nail an order for Blood Pressure tablets What I avoided mentioning was what actually went down during an immediately following the consultation The night before the appointment was a huge evening inclusive of a four establishment pub crawl culminating in drinks at the Black Friar Moving onto the following morning and we go out for a long walk and though I didn't feel hungry Julia insisted we drop into a restaurant called Seafresh for a "light lunch" I sit down , show little interest in the menu  so julia promptly orders the special of the day , Haddock and chips for UKP12.95 The waiter advises that the smaller portions have run out and would we mind paying the extra two quid for the larger portion No problem , lets just eat and get the hell out of here and into fresh air. I have my back to the open kitchen area so when five minutes later Julia looks in the general direction of the kitchen, announces our meals are coming then lets out a groan, I know it can't be a good sign Twenty seconds later I'm looking down at my "light lunch" , laid out on a plate the size of a serving dish for roasts And what do I spy through the slits in my one remaining semi opened eye Well, apart from a kilo of large fries, and upwards of four cubic inches of tartare sauce, what really starts my heart bounding is the sight of this one single piece of Haddock. Up to this point in my life I had no idea about how large a Haddock reached when fully grown. However i can now confirm that the haddock is obviously a close relative of the Whale. This sucker , battered to the gills, must have extended eighteen inches  along the plate. It was at least ten inches wide and and inch thick. This wasn't a fish! This wasn't a lunch! This was a way of life! My heart starts pumping like I'm about to have a heart attack and I'm suddenly perspiring to beat the band. As soon as the waiter has retreated I beg Julia to agree to just throw down some cash and cut and run My proposal is turned down flat and I'm told to get a grip and simply eat what I can. So I shut up and do my best, in fact we both give it our all. Thirty minutes later and we have removed maybe a third of the meal from our plates. At that point we call it quits, pay the cash and stumble home for a lie down Whilst flaked out on the couch, I thought briefly about canceling the appointment but on reflection thought I would just "man up" and tough it out Next scene, I'm in the doctors examination room, feeling .......... I can't adequately describe how I was feeling suffice to say I had felt better The doctor proceeds to measure my heart rate and blood pressure. I should note at this point that apparently the norm on this procedure is 120 over 80 In my case my doctor seems happy that I'm around 130 over 90 So my new Pimlico GP takes a reading then quickly looks up and says to me , are you OK I say why And she says, because your readings have just gone off the dial. you have the measurements of a driver in the last laps of a Formula One race I try to put on the innocent , neutral face look and obviously fail miserably. So the doctor then looks me straight in the eyes and says, just tell me what you have been up to over the last twenty four hours, what have you drunk, and what have you eaten. So I respond, do you mean apart from a four bar Pub crawl last evening where I must have downed a couple of bottles of wine, followed by dinner consisting of one horrible pastie , two bags of salt and vinegar chips, a few hand fills of salted peanuts, coffee and an orange for breakfast , and half a whale and a medium sized bag of potatoes deep fried into chips washed down by two glasses of red for launch, apart from that......nothing.....honest! The doctor stares at me like I'm insane and says, are you aware that sixty year old bodies aren't designed for this level of abuse So I say, no I wasn't , do you think it might be a good idea to tone things down for a couple of days. Exit the surgery with prescription request in hand however at this point I have more pressing engagement and without further ado I'm straight down to the local Argos store where I purchase my own personal Blood Pressure/Heart Rate monitor (UKP24.50 from all good stores, batteries included) It's now a few days down the track and I'm happy , no what I mean is that I'm ecstatic that my heart rate and blood pressure readings are now averaging 129 over 80 I think this London lifestyle agrees with me Now where can we go for lunch today to  celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary Cheers, John