We dropped into the 244th edition of the Royal Academy of Arts Summer Exhibition earlier today.
This event runs for a couple of months in the middle of each year.
It's actually a very interesting event as it fronts as the showcase for all up and coming British artists.
The deal here is that if you think you have what it takes you forward your works to the Academy and if they agree, then your stuff is displayed, with price tag attached.
We saw some pretty interesting stuff however I have to say that most of the participants aren't shy when it came to establishing a sale price.
Some of these no name up and comers were looking for prices in excess of £300,000. That's pretty heady stuff.
Enough of that, the drama of the day actually occurred after our visit. We decided to have a couple of cappuccino's and share a raisin twirl bun outside in the quadrangle.
Whilst Julia was off purchasing the drinks and bun I was idly watching the pigeons scavenging for crumbs and thinking to myself that these birds weren't messing about and looked like they were in fighting mode.
Over comes Julia, who plonks herself down and we set to drinking our very fine cappuccinos whilst ripping into our raisin twirl.
At this stage a bloody hoard of pigeons arrive and start pecking away all around our feet which is normal English pigeon behaviour.
Then these two legged ninjas start looking up at the plate holding our twirl and I can see that they have evil intent written in their eyes.
My left hand grabs the last of my share of the twirl and as I am in the process of lifting said twirl to my lips, a huge frantically flapping winged beast launches itself directly off the ground and starts beating its wings about an inch in front of my face, whilst at the same time thrusting it's savage beak directly at my twirl.
Without giving it a second thought (blame it on the bird's element of surprise) I swung my left hand (with twirl attached) out of the bird's firing line whilst at the same time punching this attacker right on his beak with my right hand.
I would like to report that I landed the punch with a closed fist however I have to admit that at that precise moment my hand was also holding a full and very hot polystyrene cup of coffee.
I don't know who got the greater shock, yours truly or the pigeon.
The bird immediately took flight and I was left covered from head to foot with the backwash of cappuccino.
As I was in the process of attempting to wipe myself down an English woman sitting directly over from me and who had witnessed this altercation pipes up and says,
" I don't think it's a very good idea for you to feed the birds. It only encourages them"
I look over at her , dripping in coffee, chocolate and cream foam and respond "Is that a fact?"
And she responds ........"Yes"
Then I respond "Thank you for your kind and insightful comments. I will endeavour to keep your advise in mind next time I'm minding my own business and out of the blue am attacked by a winged monster"
Then as my bird feeding advisor looks away she lets off a final parting shot "You're welcome."
That's it. From now on no more coffee breaks at The Royal Academy.
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