WE HAVE A WINNER!

You know you hear some pretty interesting commentaries when tuning into the Olympics.
The whole deal here is run by the BBC on the telly and the leading radio broadcaster is BBC's Radio5 Live.
Both these broadcasters have added new meaning to the word 'jingoistic'.
The broadcasts are so one-eyed that they actually come across as being rather amusing.
Take a rowing final that has just been completed, the women's four.
Prior to the gun being fired the TV had been giving blanket coverage to the GB Team, a powerful foursome of "giant killers".
And off they go .
Our girls are looking good.
The slow start is obviously a team tactic to ensure they have what it counts when it matters further down the course.
We are at the halfway point and they are in a good rhythm superior to their fellow competitors.
Time for the girls to pick up their stroke.
And over the finish line in  sixth and last place, trailing by fourteen , yes fourteen seconds are Team GB.
What went wrong?
Time to bring in the greatest rower of all time (Oh, did I mention he is British). Sir Stephen Redgrave (please, hold your applause. I'm just a simple person like the rest of you folk).
"Sir Stephen, you understand these things. Where did it all go wrong for our girls?"
"Well it like this, our girls simply weren't good enough to beat the other five teams in the final."
"Yes, yes, but Sir Stephen, where do the girls go from here?"
"Well, I think they will probably go for a shower then head off down to the pub to drown their sorrows."
The laugh for the day had to be the great Team GB women's pairs rowing victory.
The announcer on Radio5 Live hit new heights for himself, which wasn't easy as this dude is the ultimate cheer leader.
As the women crossed the line to nail the gold, the announcer screams into his mike, "This is a victory for London , for England, for Great Britain, for MANKIND!"
Good one.
The peoples of our world grovel at your feet.
Paintings of your victory will be hung in the Portrait Gallery. Cliff Richard has volunteered to compose and record a song in your honour. Henry Moore has promised to come back from the dead to sculpt the moment for all time. Knighthoods are a given. Maybe even a couple of flats in a mid priced housing complex compliments of a grateful nation. Oh yes, we will name a couple of streets after you.And in total confidence mind you, I hear Boris will be proposing a name change for Heathrow Airport to reflect the importance of this victory.
The FTSE 100 has just rocketed up by no less than 1400 points. This indeed is a proud day
By the way, who came third.
What?
New Zealand?
For heavens sake let's get onto more productive conversations.
Let's get back to analysing where it all went wrong with our women's four.

Cheers